Tantrum signs
There is a clear demand. The child watches for your reaction. Intensity may drop if you give in or offer a different reward. They can sometimes be redirected by a novel option. Afterward, they are usually fine fairly quickly.
Sensory meltdown signs
There is no obvious 'ask.' The child seems overwhelmed, not calculating. The trigger may be sensory — a crowd, a sound, a tag, a transition. They may not respond to reasoning or bargaining. Recovery is slow and requires reduced input.
What to do in a sensory meltdown
Reduce sensory input: dim lights, lower voices, move to a quiet space. Offer a calming tool: a weighted blanket, headphones, or a fidget. Do not lecture or enforce consequences until the child has recovered. The goal is regulation, not compliance.
What you can say in the moment
During sensory overload
- "Your body is telling us it's too much right now. Let's find a quieter spot."
- "I'm not mad. I'm going to help your body feel safe."
- "When your body is calmer, we can talk about what happened."
The Meltdown Toolkit has a printable plan for before, during, and after meltdowns and sensory overloads.