Physical signs
Frequent stomachaches or headaches, especially before school or social events. Trouble falling asleep, restless sleep, or nightmares. Muscle tension, clenched jaw, or fidgeting that seems driven by worry.
Behavioral signs
Avoidance of activities, places, or people they used to handle. Asking for repeated reassurance that nothing bad will happen. Difficulty starting or finishing tasks because the 'what ifs' are loud. Outbursts or irritability that spike when a worry is triggered.
Thinking patterns
Catastrophic thinking: assuming the worst outcome is likely. Black-and-white thinking: 'If I mess up, everyone will hate me.' Over-responsibility: 'It's my job to keep everyone safe.' Need for certainty: 'What if?' questions that cannot be answered.
When to seek help
If worry lasts most days for several weeks, interferes with sleep, school, friendships, or family life, or if your child says they feel unsafe or hopeless, talk to a pediatrician or mental health professional. Early support makes a difference.
What you can say in the moment
When anxiety shows up at bedtime
- "Worry is allowed to visit, but it doesn't get to decide everything."
- "I believe you can handle hard things, even when your brain says you can't."
- "Let's name one small brave step for tonight."
The Anxiety Toolkit has scripts and a step-by-step ladder for helping anxious children face what feels scary.